That feeling.

That feeling.

Your soul is thrumming at the very edges of your body and you just FEEL, one massive exposed nerve, that you are alive, and the world is at once brutally imperfect, and all that you have any right to ask for.

That feeling is either a little voice telling you that we, as humans, are meant for more than this, or it’s a sign of depression.

We’re all hardware, software and interface.

The brain, the thoughts, and the body.

It’s helpful to think of it in this way. You’ve got non-upgradable internals (humanity is apparently an apple product), an OS that is very hard to mod, and doesn’t take unsigned upgrades well (score two for Cupertino), and an extremely limited set of information sources (who needs an optical drive?).

You get what you get, and you don’t get upset. You learn to hack with methods and efficiencies, not by changing things to better reflect how you’d like to have been designed.

Humans don’t upgrade. We improve by repetition, whether it be studying new facts, working a muscle, or finding comfort in the unknown. We aren’t built from smaller pieces. We’re carved from a larger, unfinished stone.

The feeling I mentioned earlier is pretty much the only time I remember what it feels like to cry. I can feel my tear ducts, I can feel the ragged shaky breath that cohabitates with emotional vulnerability, and I can feel just how unfair, how out of control, how alone it all is.

The upshot is, even if the feeling I’m talking about is unfamiliar to you, we’re still all in this together.

Hardware, software and interface, all on the same spinning ball, trying to get to the point where we can all share packets.

All things considered, it’s enough.

@8 months ago
#emotions #feelings #life #emo